ignorance is bliss.

how dare you.

spare me the irony and sarcasm,because I really believe you don't give a shit with what I'm going through. Then again you lack empathy,hardly surprising. Even my lecturers do a better job of it. I'm normally not one for special treatment,but actually right now I need as much support as I can get.

I was stuck in bed all day on my 20th birthday on the Monday with a sore neck, my mother spent her own 49th birthday in a hospital needing a blood transfusion,fuck it I can't even write without a lump coming to my throat because it makes me feel so upset. I even feel like I can't date another Socialist because you will have something to say about it,because news travels fast. In fact,I feel as if I can say nothing at all. I wake up at 7:30am this morning to do a stall with said sore neck,selfless as ever,so what if I stare into space? You're all the same,false smiles and backstabbing comments,apart from a choice few. It's making me decide even more why I should be here in this state. If you want to arrange something,do it yourself,I'm not your lackey and I never will be.

I don't have to be strong anymore,I'm tired of that. My mother is ill,how many flaming times do I need to re-iterate that I need support and help? Just go fuck yourself. I miss my ex,and people are telling me that he wasn't worth the crap,but how was I meant to think different after looking after him for 8 months? He was bisexual,he didn't put it in my head,in fact he tried to force it on the relationship if anything. At least my new partner understands this. He also had views that were subversive,so what? I realise that I don't need to adhere to fuck all anymore,because unlike you I have a life that I want to live,against all the odds,whether my mother is ill or whether you put pressure on me to be an activist,whether I'm a student,whether I have depression, whether I'm someone's lover,or whether I'm one of the only women of the group. I will not buckle to your superiority,in fact I'll shove it straight back where it belongs-in your arse. It's no secret that I too resent you.

birthday girl.

so I have reached the end of my teenage years today. Twenty years ago my mother was in labour with me at this time,and I was born at half 6 in the evening in a hospital in Lincolnshire. Unfortunately my mother is now in hospital waiting for a blood transfusion and I am stuck in bed with a sore neck,which resulted in me missing most of uni today,but I am going to go in for the last 2 hours. Before that I am going into town to buy a diary,some body lotion and some cupcakes,and then I shall be seeing the guy that I like later,as well as my friend of a year after that. Thanks to Dave and everyone of my other friends for their birthday wishes,you truly have made this day special.