I'm fed up. He's fed up.
But I can't take this right now.
Don't get me wrong,I love him to pieces. But when it's happened before,it is very hard to shake off when your boyfriend of 7 months once said a girl that he fancied had ''sex appeal'',when you first started dating. Kind of like when my ex of 2 years ago turned round and told me that he snogged the face of his close friend in a dream and didn't give two flying fucks for his then girlfriend (me).
And it hurts even more when two members of your family have cancer. And at one time you were dating a person who you thought that you could trust. And one of those people with cancer was your auntie,who is now terminal. The other is your own mother. This is harder than I imagined.
Anyway,I'm back from Ireland as of yesterday,and completely exhausted. Being away from Mum enabled me to let go of my emotions a bit more,and today Mum found out that she may only have to have chemotherapy,which is a great relief for everyone all round. I head up to my boyfriend on Thursday (though I wish it were sooner due to wanting a great amount of hugs and support and trying to sort things out,but if I don't get my mental health sorted then I'm completely shelving the whole thing,much to my chagrin) and to be honest,I will be glad of a break.
