tubthumping.

You know it's going to be a brilliant day when you wake up in the morning, and you hear your mother singing Chumbawamba's ''Tubthumping'' from the bathroom,feeling ever so positive about herself. She had a shower,an awesome breakfast (pureed apple and pear with cinnamon) and was on top of the world. I nearly managed to blow up my breakfast of porridge in the microwave,but had what remained of the sticky mess with dark chocolate.

On the way into Tamworth she visualised her cancer as she walked,knowing that the bad cells were going to suffer. Then we split up and I went shopping for 2 1/2 hours while she went to the dentist,picking up some rather awesome sale goodies from The Body Shop and HMV,as well as a book on New Age and some paperbacks that came to £1.50. I rang Student Finance and accommodation in Manchester when we came back,and it was a great feeling because I felt ready for my second year. I watched a load of German stuffs on YouTube (next year is keeping me sane planning for my year out to Germany) and took a nap of 2 hours before I had a healthy tea.

Then I spoke to my unfortunately (at times) toxic dad,who has literally hijacked the whole thing (unlike me,who has taken it in their stride and lived as normal,which is the story of my life) by telling me that he hasn't stopped crying. Admittedly I did feel very numb for a couple of days,but after our Sisterhood left Tamworth,I started to feel normal again after coming to terms with the diagnosis on Thursday,then two more women coming into the fold over the weekend to support my mother. I just wanted to be myself and I was allowed to be by everyone. When I confronted my dad with trying to be normal for Mum's sake,he arrogantly turned to me and told me that he ''would be how he wanted'' which irritated me so much.

Importantly,I am a woman,and I am a survivor. And so is my mother. I think this song is reminiscient of the good times that face us,and the strength that we are exhibiting towards what has been chucked at us. We have our partners who are behind us and everything that we do. And that's what I hold onto.

things to make and do part II.

My mum is making her motivational poster today,which will be exciting as she doesn't have to go out and buy card (I snaffled some from Ryman's with my student discount while in Manchester a while back). I think that she should have some baby photos of me and her on there,because that is the time when we were at our most closest,but that's my personal input. Another member of the Sisterhood (my auntie) will be visiting us tomorrow (I'm leaving Tuesday afternoon to travel up to my Dad's for Ireland) and I need to sort out my student finances,as well as my house for next year.

Something which I've recently spotted are rewashable sanitary pads on femininewear.co.uk. The designs are gorgeous (Pink Rose and Olive are my personal favourites) but very pricey! I have to buy a Railcard for next year,as well as a passport for my travels (Me and Ben are hoping to do some travelling at some point-and my mum would like that,given as she wants me to carry on as normal and be happy. She did do some travelling before she met my dad) but some new sanitary towels would be lovely for me as a treat,and very practical.

I've also made some marshmallow treats for myself,and I'm going to have a shower and beautify myself. After all,Sunday is a day of rest.

introduction.

Hello all,Hannah is the name. I'm 19 years old and have decided to start up this new blog,partly due to my 48 year old mother's diagnosis of cancer last week. I keep another blog called bluebird,which is about my journey of living in the real world of being a university student,a best friend,a daughter,a flatmate and a lover,but this will be mainly about the issues that concern me as a female during my mother's journey,as well as coping with my second year at uni while she battles through chemo. I will still post to the other blog,but this could be seen as more of a sequel.

I'm a passionate feminist and political activist (past times which have not been picked up from my parents,may I add) and this has kept me strong throughout the past 12 months. From being in the throes of a university occupation in January,to going to Congress as a female member of the Socialist Party Branch Committee in March,things have picked up. I have a long term boyfriend who encourages my freedom as a female Socialist,even though he is now a member of The Labour Party ,and he is one of the people who keeps me grounded (even though I have the tendency to run away with my mind sometimes). But the one person who has inspired me throughout the last few years and has brought me up to be the person that I am today,is my mother.